Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Listening
I talked to my roommate at dinner about what she plans to do this weekend. I asked her what she was doing so I applied the "A" part of the four listening tools. She didn't hear me so I decided to use priming, one of the "P" of the listening tools. Once she started talking, I tried to listen emphatically. Since I was eating, I was distracted and I was not listening completely. I did not realize how distracting eating could be when trying to carry on a conversation. To compensate, I repeated what she said, the "M" part of the four listening tools. I learned that physically saying the words helped me remember what she had said. It also helped me fully comprehend the topic being discussed and the implications of the conversation. I chose not to "P" (Paraphrase) what she had said because I was afraid she would have thought I was mocking her. Since my roommate and I spend a lot of time together and we know each other really well, she could tell when I was getting ready to speak. She usually stops speaking and waits for my response before continuing. I would say that I need to improve on eliminating distractions so I can listen better to the conversation and understand what the speaker is saying.
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It looks like you did an excellent job of applying all the empathetic listening skills. Maybe you could try paraphrasing. She may not think your mocking her as much as she would realize your intently listening. It seems like you enjoyed the conversation much more by listening empathetically.
ReplyDeleteI agree with ryan. Even though paraphrasing sounds like a weird idea in a casual conversation, you can still use it in a way that will bring more of a response out of the person. Eating also is a big distraction and it's hard to talk anyway when you're eating. One other thing you might have done that wasn't entirely in your control was to choose a more interesting topic. Something deeper than weekend plans might entice the speaker to say more and you to listen more.
ReplyDeleteI agree that eliminating distractions would help you listen to the speaker better, but as this is usually hard to accomplish, you should learn to cope with distractions and still effectively listen to the speaker. Paraphrasing can be a useful tool to make sure that you understand the speaker fully, even though it may sometimes seem like mocking.
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